I had an odd dream last night. I dreamt that I was in a television sitcom. I had a girlfriend played by Zooey Deschanel. Zooey was the daughter of very rich parents. Zooey's father is convinced that I was only after her for her money. He hired Marg Helgenberger (playing herself) to "honey trap" me.
I'm at work in a retail setting selling clothes and accessories. Apparently it is a store that Zooey's father owns. When Marg comes into the store, she is wearing a halter top dress that clings to the curves of her body. Marg start flirting with me, subtly at first but get more and more aggressive when it doesn't work. Finally, the camera pans behind Marg as she reaches behind her neck and drops the top of her dress. I gasp.
The next shot shows Marg and I on the ground with me on top. Zooey's father jumps out with a video camera.
Zooey's Father: Ah HA! I knew you would be faithful to my daughter. Now I have proof.
Marg: It doesn't count. He fainted at the sight of my breasts. I get that a lot.
Marg composes herself and rolls me onto my back. I'm carried into the break room where smelling salts are used to revive me.
Marg: I like to fully immerse myself into the roles that I play. Beside, you are kind of cute. I would have slept with you. Let me know if you change your mind.
Marg says this as she kisses me on the cheek and places a slip of paper in my shirt pocket. I pass out again.
As I regain my senses, Marg and Zooey's father are gone. Zooey is there and she asks me what happened. I relate the events to Zooey.
Me: The strange part is how your father knew Marg is my list.
Zooey: Your list?
Me: You know, the list of celebrities you'd sleep with if you had the chance. Others have come and gone from my list but Marg is essentially my list.
Zooey: Sweetie, you could have, should have gone for it. I wouldn't have minded.
Me: I couldn't do that to you. I wouldn't want the image of Marg and I in your head. It is you that I love and I couldn't risk destroying what we have.
Zooey: You are so sweet.
Zooey hugs me, whispers something into my ear and leaves. A wide grin is seen on my face. Fade to commercial.
As the show returns, the camera shows bodies writhing under a comforter, A side shot seems to show someone atop another. Finally the motion stops. An overhead camera sees my head emerge from under the comforter.
Me: That was fun.
Marg's head appears and rests on my chest.
Marg: No, that was fantastic.
You can hear the audience express shock and disappointment with a loud "Ooh". A few seconds later, Zooey's head appears from under the comforter.
Zooey to Marg: Bet you didn't know you're on my list too.
Marg laughs and says "Glad I could help".
The audience erupts into cheers and laughter. As the credits roll, we disappear back under the comforter.
I guess since I remembered part of it, I may have been consciously directing it a bit. Okay, a lot. Still it was an odd dream. I wonder if there will be a sequel tonight...
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Tags: marg helgenberger, zooey deschanel
Current Location: TV sound stage
Current Mood: Oddly stimulated