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I had an odd dream last night.  I dreamt that I was in a television sitcom.  I had a girlfriend played by Zooey Deschanel.  Zooey was the daughter of very rich parents.  Zooey's father is convinced that I was only after her for her money.  He hired Marg Helgenberger (playing herself) to "honey trap" me.

I'm at work in a retail setting selling clothes and accessories.  Apparently it is a store that Zooey's father owns.  When Marg comes into the store, she is wearing a halter top dress that clings to the curves of her body.  Marg start flirting with me, subtly at first but get more and more aggressive when it doesn't work.  Finally, the camera pans behind Marg as she reaches behind her neck and drops the top of her dress.  I gasp.

The next shot shows Marg and I on the ground with me on top.  Zooey's father jumps out with a video camera.

Zooey's Father:  Ah HA!  I knew you would be faithful to my daughter.  Now I have proof.

Marg:  It doesn't count.  He fainted at the sight of my breasts.  I get that a lot.

Marg composes herself and rolls me onto my back.  I'm carried into the break room where smelling salts are used to revive me.

Marg:  I like to fully immerse myself into the roles that I play.  Beside, you are kind of cute. I would have slept with you.  Let me know if you change your mind.

Marg says this as she kisses me on the cheek and places a slip of paper in my shirt pocket.  I pass out again.

As I regain my senses, Marg and Zooey's father are gone.  Zooey is there and she asks me what happened.  I relate the events to Zooey.

Me:  The strange part is how your father knew Marg is my list.

Zooey:  Your list?

Me:  You know, the list of celebrities you'd sleep with if you had the chance.  Others have come and gone from my list but Marg is essentially my list.

Zooey:  Sweetie, you could have, should have gone for it.  I wouldn't have minded.

Me:  I couldn't do that to you.  I wouldn't want the image of Marg and I in your head.  It is you that I love and I couldn't risk destroying what we have.

Zooey:  You are so sweet.

Zooey hugs me, whispers something into my ear and leaves.  A wide grin is seen on my face.  Fade to commercial.

As the show returns, the camera shows bodies writhing under a comforter,  A side shot seems to show someone atop another.  Finally the motion stops.  An overhead camera sees my head emerge from under the comforter.

Me:  That was fun.

Marg's head appears and rests on my chest.

Marg:  No, that was fantastic.

You can hear the audience express shock and disappointment with a loud "Ooh".  A few seconds later, Zooey's head appears from under the comforter.

Zooey to Marg:  Bet you didn't know you're on my list too.

Marg laughs and says "Glad I could help".

The audience erupts into cheers and laughter.  As the credits roll, we disappear back under the comforter.

I guess since I remembered part of it, I may have been consciously directing it a bit.  Okay, a lot.  Still it was an odd dream.  I wonder if there will be a sequel tonight...

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Current Location: TV sound stage
Current Mood: Oddly stimulated

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My birthday has come and gone. My goals have largely gone unrealized. I've not lost weight. I'm not in better shape. Marg Helgenberger didn't crash my birthday party. I did achieve one goal. Well, I will technically achieve the goal in about 5 years. I have a 2013 Dodge Dart in my possession.

It took me about 6 months to find the one I wanted on a lot within reasonable driving distance. Less than a week later it was home with me. Other than the car payments, I'm enjoying my Dart very much.

Having the Dart is helping to alleviate the disappointment of getting no love from Marg. When I started the twitter campaign a year ago, Marg wasn't on twitter. Not long after my last journal entry, Marg joined twitter. At the time I thought it was fortuitous. Turned out, not so much.

When I started the campaign I never really expected Marg to show up. If by some miracle she did, that would have been wonderful. I had what I thought would be a reasonable hope she might wish me a happy birthday. Alas it didn't happen. With her filming her new series earlier this year and her trip home to Nebraska this weekend, I don't think Marg noticed. My logical side knows this. My emotional side is temporarily disheartened.

I haven't decided what if anything, to do next. I know I don't need "validation" from Marg but is it too much to ask for a nod from someone you've looked up to for years? Should I give up my childish dream or continue to try? Hopefully I'll figure something out in the next month or so.

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Current Mood: discontent discontent

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One part of my plan has got exceedingly well.  I have avoided the evil scales with a passion.  The rest of the plan has been largely (pun intended) ignored.  I haven't lost any weight and have barely tweeted.  The only exercise I get is dragging myself out of bed in the morning.

Reflecting on these goals, I have decided to add another nigh unattainable goal to my dream list.  I've decided I want to get a new Dodge Dart Limited with the 1.4L MultiAir engine mated with the 6 speed manual transmission.  It would include the Premium package for the leather seats, a sunroof and the LED "Racetrack" taillights.  I do want the black interior but am torn on the exterior color.  I keep switching between Maximum Steel Metallic and Tungsten Metallic.  My wife likes the Citrus Peel Pearl Coat and the Header Orange is growing on me.

When my place changed health insurance providers (effective next year), they added an incentive to lower the cost of my premiums.  If I lower my BMI one point, they will reduce my bi-weekly premiums by $12.  That would result in a $312 yearly reduction in my rates.  If there is one thing I love, it is paying as little as possible for things I need.

Between needing to get healthy so I can afford the Dodge Dart and an incentive on my new health insurance plan, I need to start working toward my goals now.  My Schwinn Airdyne is waiting on me and expects to see me after a quick twitter post.  Wish me luck.

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Current Location: not in bed
Current Mood: optimistic optimistic

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Next April I will have been on earth for half a century.  50 years old.  Seems like just yesterday I was celebrating my 40th birthday.  As I take a hard look at myself, I have decided to undertake a couple of challenges.  The first challenge is to get into better shape.  After my heart attack in February 2010, I was doing well.  I weighed less than I had in several years and I had tons of energy.  Since early last year, I have been much more concerned with my wife's health than my own.  My recent annual physical opened my eyes.  I now weigh more than I did before my heart attack.  I have started a diet and slowly starting exercising.  For the time being, I will avoid the scale.  I don't want to become disheartened.

The second challenge is largely out of my hands.  I have started a twitter campaign to have Marg Helgenberger crash my 50th birthday party.  For the last three weeks I have tweeted to #marghelgenberger.  Since I haven't used twitter much in the past, I had no idea tweets to a hashtag disappear after a week.  Now it is a two pronged campaign, twitter and here.

Yes, I know it is a long shot.  An extremely long shot.  Marg likely does not have a twitter account.  Ditto for a Live Journal account.  But if I don't try, I'll never know.

Wish me luck.

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Current Location: fantasy
Current Mood: hopeful hopeful

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I am writing this on the evening of the airing of your final episode of CSI:  Crime Scene Investigation.  I haven't watched the episode yet nor have I watched the previous one.  I intend to watch them back to back sometime this weekend in order for me to savor them and your presence.  I'm not sure when I'll catch you next.

Thank you for (figuratively) spending time with me over the past 12 years on CSI.  It was comforting knowing I'd be seeing you on a semi-regular basis in this uncertain world.  I do feel a little sadness that you are leaving but I don't begrudge you or your decision to step away.  I know it was a difficult choice and that you postponed making that choice for a year or two, perhaps because you needed a bit of stability when your life was changing in more personal ways.  Perhaps not.  I digress.

From the fateful day I first spotted you on Ryan's Hope, you and your presence have captivated me.  It was strange that at a time I really didn't know who I was yet, I knew I instantly I was witnessing something truly remarkable.  When I think about that image as you were then, I am astounded how much better, more beautiful you are today.  You have redefined my sense of being.  I know greater things are possible beyond what I can comprehend at this moment in time.  I know I will comprehend those things at some point in time and know there are even greater things beyond them.  Heck, I might even be able to comprehend what I have just written someday.  :)

Thank you Marg for blessing me with your presence all these years.  I truly appreciate it and hope to see you in something soon that helps you grow.



p.s.  If you plan on attending the "Big Game" or the associated festivities next week in Indianapolis, rest easy.  I am, as Douglas Adams famously said, mostly harmless.  At any rate, I have no plans to attend the festivities.  Also, I do apologize for the letter published in the TV Guide a few years ago.  The edited version didn't accurately express the message I tried to convey.  I was seeking a legitimate print of the photo.  I had no idea they would publish the proof I provided them that I was a legitimate collector and not a reseller, let alone in the manner they did.  I still haven't gotten a print yet.  :(

I have set this journal entry to screen all comments.

EDIT: January 28th, 2012 - I can't believe I had to find out Marg got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on eBay.  Now I have to see if I can find a copy of the Hollywood Reporter with the congratulation ads.

Current Mood: restless restless

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Heads up for all the Marg Helgenberger fans.  She is going to be on "Kelly! Live" on Wednesday morning (January 18th) and the Dave Letterman show Wednesday night.  I imagine it is because Marg's last two episode storyline starts Wednesday as well.


I don't know where I'll get my Marg fix after next week.

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I hope you have whatever kind of birthday you wish today, Marg.


Current Location: Waiting for some chocolate cake
Current Mood: happy happy

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I have decided to make my journal private.  If you wish to see it, please send a message.

Current Mood: blank blank

I have mixed emotions. I want Marg to be happy and I hoped she was. But the divorce should be finalized today.

I hope she finds happiness.


You not so secret admirer,


Current Mood: complacent complacent

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We recently lost our beloved dog Benny. We still miss him.

Friday we went to our local Toys R Us to pick up a pre-ordered copy of the movie "Up'. After picking it up, my wife wanted to go next door. It was a PetSmart.

We didn't know when we went in but PetSmart was hosting a national adoption event last weekend. Of course we had to look. I didn't see any dogs that spoke to me so we decided to go to other PetSmarts in the area Saturday. Several hours, 100 miles and a missed adoption later, we were back where we started Friday night.

My wife and I had an agreement. She chose the last dog, I was to choose our next dog. Operative word being "had".

My wife fell in love with a small black two year old black dog named Bosley. Even with all the noise from the other dogs and the crowd of people, he was calm. She asked to hold him. I knew it was over at that point. Bosley is adjusting to being with us very well. I can tell he was a house dog. He immediately jumped up on the couch and curled up as if he belonged there. He does.

p.s. Today is the birthday of my favorite celebrity. Marg Helgenberger is 51 years young today. She is an advocate of many things, including pet adoption. What a woman. :)

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Current Location: home with my wife and Bosley
Current Mood: happy happy
Current Music: How much is that doggie in the window?

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